" I Feel So Baddd "

Most of them asked the reason. Im stunned in that moment because I dont know how should I explain about it. It's no big deal, I feel like to type something into that empty box out of sudden. So I recall of what had happened today, I think there was a moment that really saddened me.

Each time they pass by me, I pretend like I dont care anything. They may think Im not a good girl, so what for they expect something from me? Eventually, they hate me hence they abandoned me. This is merely my point of view, I wish to know the actual answers from them only if I think Im brave enough. Too bad, I am a loser.

Virtually I dont think it anymore since the beginning of this year. It pops up in my mind again because there was something shockingly happened within these months, it almost looked the same thus it leads me to think it over again. This is so ridiculous, it somehow influences my day and night, even when Im bathing. I think of it when I go to bed, when Im walking back to home, when it is Sejarah class, when it is home-alone-moment etc. Means every single moment that I am free and the mind is totally blank, I think it.

The comments that friends gave are simply contradictory.
They asked me if I feel guilty or not, YES I AM. The next second, they consoled me by telling me that it wasnt my fault and the decisions are depend on me, YEA. So what else can I say by facing this dilemma? But Im not meaning to say my friends are lebih one, instead I love to talk to them because we burst out laughter everytime. I look like a joker in front of them ;D They love to tease me and I love to be teased somehow. They're cute.

I have been ignored. by them.
The feeling is not that good if you do experience it by yourself. It really pisses you off and you feel bad for no reason! You want their attention because you once got it, and you'd never have it currently. I lost something and dont expect to get it back because I fail to compromise with myself. Not only Im having this kinda problems, people around faced it too. I envy them for they could handle well and they didnt lose anything, but when it happens on me, it is always a failure.

They walked away from me, I looked at their back and sighed.
I got nothing to do.



the phone. the messages. the dates. the dance. the night. the probabilities. the destiny. the smiles. the murderer game. the activities. the pains. the guilt. the songs.
you smiled. you waited. you concerned. you cared. you joked. you anticipated. you looked. you disappointed. you gave up. you tried. you stayed. you evaded.

See! All are past tenses.

I want to mention it here. The JERK who phoned me in the previous post refered to -----------------

JERKTOUFUFA JIANPEI